Essence: Possibility

Lost River, West Virginia

Musing…

“As long as our orientation is toward perfection or success, we will never learn about unconditional friendship with ourselves, nor will we find compassion. ”  ― Pema Chödrön

Charise’s Turn:

Six weeks ago I suddenly lost hearing in my left ear; or rather, I suddenly lost the ability to discern external sound in that ear and instead have noise that is insistent and unrelenting. Not a ringing, more like a roaring waterfall or a chorus of cicadas. Idiopathic sensorineural sudden hearing loss, or as I am wont to call it, idiotic pathetic senseless neurotic hearing loss. I expected it to resolve in a short time – this is called denial. I stopped teaching yoga and stopped dancing because there was too much distortion affecting my hearing and disorientation from feeling walled off on my left side. I became a patient, undergoing all kind of testing and recommended treatment. Ultimately, only time will be the predictor of recovery, as is so often the case with any ailment or condition, because there is nothing much to do that will make a difference in the meantime. This could take months, maybe a year, to improve and how long do I let this rule my life – in the meantime?

After a month hiatus I gambled on teaching and found that despite a certain level of discomfort as well as nervousness about how it would go, it went more or less as usual. No one else was experiencing the noise distortion I was experiencing, but it didn’t matter, we had yoga to unite us. I had thought I was done, that teaching would not be possible again, but that was only my fear believing itself. I had also lost all desire to dance...until my friend Charmaine of SynergyDance gifted me one of her most precious costume skirts. She said “this is to inspire you to dance again; you can’t stop, you’re too good.” Her gift gave me the strength to return to class, pick up choreography I had stopped working on, and surrender my doubts.

Get Fired Up:

Are you believing in some limitation that is just fear or doubt speaking? Test your limitation, maybe it isn’t the truth.

“Feel the fear…and do it anyway!” – Susan Jeffers

www.coachingmoves.com

Essence: Believe

Musing...

"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that something deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our sacred trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit."

– e.e. cummings

In our mission to welcome new voices into our blog, let us introduce our guest blogger, Colleen Russell, who draws on creativity to transform her own life as well as the lives of others in her work.    www.quest4wholeness.com

Colleen’s Turn:

It has taken me years to believe that I am a creative/artistic person because this part of me was never supported. By the time I was in my teens, this loss of my authentic self began to express itself in self-destructive behavior. I became pregnant at seventeen, and was a single mom for twelve years. Making a living took every ounce of creative energy I had.

Interestingly enough, after getting a degree in Journalism, my work took me into advertising sales where at times I designed ads. I suppose that was my body/soul’s way of staying creative.

At age 35 my husband that I’d been married to for five years had a heart attack and died. A counselor encouraged me to take time to “find myself.” As a result of that journey, I found myself pursuing a degree in Transpersonal Psychology which is a form of Depth Psychology that believes we are all creative.

Most of the classes included writing, art, and creative expression so it allowed me to discover who I was at my core: a creative being. Later I worked with Marion Woodman, a Jungian Analyst who used the arts to put us back into our body/souls so that we could discover our true essence. It was there that I discovered my inner artist. I can’t tell you how delighted I was when I discovered her. I also received validation from my mentors that perhaps artistic expression was one of my innate gifts. Still I didn’t quite get it.

It wasn’t until my husband had me take a Thinking-Styles Assessment test from Dr. Katherine Benzieger a few years ago at age 55, that I finally got it. The assessment revealed that my strength was right brained thinking and that all of these years I had been suffering from depression because I was adapting to a world that was not my natural way of being in the world. From that time on I have given myself permission to create. I realize if I don’t take time to do art, that my life will be out-of-balance.  Playing with art feeds my soul and brings me joy. I feel most happy when I am creating.

Get Fired Up: 

There is an inner artist that lives within you too. Buy a box of charcoals and some paper. Let yourself play. Choose colors you like and make marks. Rub your hands in them. See what happens when you let go and express yourself with lines and color. Believe in yourself. Let yourself play!