Musing…
“A moment of self-compassion can change
your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.” – Christopher K. Germer
Charise’s Turn:
Every now and then the shell of
appearances we wear to protect our vulnerability gets too snug, too tight, too
binding. That’s when you know it’s time to bust open, to drop your guard, to
soften, to be more receptive and open, to break the hold of perfectionism.
A year ago I developed idiopathic
sensorineural sudden hearing loss (ISSHL). While I had pinned my hopes on
spontaneous recovery at the one-year mark, I still have a constant whirring,
hissing and high pitched ringing with profound hearing loss in my left ear (tinnitus). I can’t turn it off
or will it away. At times it wears me out, but like many physical conditions
people cope with on a daily basis, it doesn’t stop me from living life fully. I’m still teaching, dancing, performing, coaching, writing, travelling, and so on, just as I did before the tinnitus.
It’s mostly a private burden to transcend while attending to what I need to do, or to what is happening in my environment, and ignore the noise in my ear which will not quit.
As I write this I realize I’ve been
too demanding of myself and maybe, just maybe, I need to set limits based on what I can
tolerate rather than what is going on or what is expected. Instead, I pretend
that I’m fine…I’m, well, performing! Holding myself accountable here -- and to
give anyone reading this permission to do the same --I’m done with the show.
Not done with showing up for the joy, the laughter, the learning, the challenges,
the wonder, the love of family and friends; but done with the show. Self-compassion
may be my new best friend.
Get Fired Up:
Show up. (period)
“The thing that is
really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning
the work of becoming yourself.” – Anna Quindlen
[Both quotes taken from the book The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown]
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